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Expectations
It’s not a bad idea to hold ourselves — and others — to higher standards. Striving for “the best” is a worthy goal. But unrealistic expectations often result in disappointment. For instance, how many times have you tried a popular new restaurant, only to end up disappointed when your meals fell short of the rave reviews you’d read? At the same time, if we always expect more from other folks than they’re able to give, we’re bound to feel letdown at some point. As Anne Lamott put it, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Sometimes what we want isn’t available to us. Or what we expect to achieve — weight…
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You be you
“Forget popularity; focus on sincerity. Do what you do, not for applause, but because it is what is right for you. Practice respecting yourself and becoming a reliable part of your own support system.” ~Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life The word “popularity” still sends me back down Memory Lane to junior high school. And today’s quote from Marc and Angel got me thinking about the difference between sincerity and popularity. When we focus on being popular, we value the number of friends we have rather than the quality of their character, or their compatibility. Likewise, when we try to stay “on trend” with our creative projects, we risk lowering the quality…
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Why life is better without Facebook
“The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating nine happy years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, spending more time with friends and neighbors, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of…
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Communication skills
“Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Good communication can strengthen any connection. Staying in touch, sharing how we feel, and expressing interest in the lives of others can go a long way toward building solid relationships. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had jobs that required meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, an in-law told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m usually more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer…
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How will you spend today?
“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over other people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it, and find out the truth about who you are.” ~Anne Lamott Statistics show that social media abuse inhibits our creativity, triggers periods of depression, stirs feelings of inadequacy, and can fuel aggression — just for starters. We make some dubious trade-offs when our time is consumed by social media use. Not that we shouldn’t enjoy a few of…
