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The ordinary instant
“Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant.” ~Joan Didion It started out to be an ordinary, uneventful Saturday evening. In a few texts, my friend Deb and I had just agreed that we were looking forward to a quiet, cozy evening with our husbands. Nothing special to do. Then, around 6:15, I opened the front door to bring in two packages from the porch. And life changed. As she often does, our dog Coco followed me to the porch while I picked up the packages. Though Coco isn’t allowed to wander unleashed in the front yard, something caught her eye on the park-like boulevard across the street from our home.…
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Good company
“Books are always good company if you have the right sort.” ~Louisa May Alcott Have you tried bibliotherapy? Yes, it’s a real thing. According to Psychology Today, bibliotherapy is defined as “a therapeutic approach employing books and other forms of literature, typically alongside more traditional therapy modalities, to support a patient’s mental health.” Though I’ve never had a guided session, I’ve practiced bibliotherapy at home for years. Whenever I need comfort or inspiration, I reread a few favorite authors who lift my spirits, ease my anxieties, or help me stay grounded. Lately I find myself turning to their books more often, like trusted friends. Some are works of fiction; a…
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Take your time
“Never be in a hurry. Do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” ~Saint Francis de Sales I wrote several newspaper articles a week when I was a young mom. While working from home, I also shopped for groceries, drove the carpool, conducted phone interviews, processed the laundry, played with my son after school, and cooked family meals. I don’t know where I found the energy to do so much — but I was always in a rush and stressed out. Those years flew past like geese heading south to escape winter’s chill, and I…
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How to manage holiday grief and loss
“The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow If you’re grieving a loss, holiday festivities can feel especially painful and alienating. Last year I wrote a column on managing grief and loss during the holidays for The Sunday Oakland Press. For those who don’t subscribe to the newspaper and can’t open the article links, I’m reposting the column below. EMPTY CHAIRS AT CHRISTMAS, by Cindy La Ferle for The Oakland Press My mother died three months before Christmas eight years ago. Since my father had passed several years earlier, my first Christmas season without Mom…
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Keep your light
This, my dear, is the greatest challengeto being alive.To witness injustice in the world and not allow it to consume our light.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh There’s no way around it but through it. Unless you’re in denial, it’s been a difficult week for everyone. The ongoing post-election analysis isn’t helping nearly half of our wounded country, nor is it mending the broken personal relationships that were damaged by years of nefarious, name-calling politics. As a good friend put it, “Things aren’t going to feel normal for a long time.” But we can’t let fear or despair “consume our light,” as today’s quote suggests. All week, I’ve been talking with loved…
