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What does that remark say about you?
“Words are the clothing of our thoughts.” ~Jonathan Swift Human beings aren’t born knowing how to filter unkind thoughts. Children are notorious for expressing brutally frank opinions on everything they notice, from bad breath to obesity. But if we’re lucky enough to grow up among responsible adults, we learn some basic social skills — including civility, tact, and diplomacy. These days, too many adults think it’s fine to blurt whatever pops into their heads. Political leaders, in particular, have mastered the craft of the blatant insult. If speech is the “clothing of our thoughts,” as today’s quote suggests, it follows that boasting, name-calling, and crude remarks all reflect the character…
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Second helpings
“That thing that you are obsessing about — no one else is obsessing about it with the same intensity as you are. People are thinking about themselves. Remember that, and move through your day.” ~Gretchen Hydo Ages ago, I had a college room mate who was too shy to get back in line for second helpings at meal time. She worried that other students in the cafeteria would judge her for overindulging. Enabler that I was, I often returned to the line to fetch a second omelette or slice of chocolate cake for her. As today’s quote reminds us, other people are usually preoccupied with their own thoughts and their…
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Let it bloom by itself
“Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go. God opens millions of flowers every day without forcing their buds.” ~Osho Control freaks, take note: The act of letting go is an act of courage that requires trust and faith. It’s not our job to keep the earth spinning on its axis — and isn’t that a relief? Sometimes letting go means stepping back and allowing others to make their own decisions (or mistakes) despite our well-intended guidance. It can be frightening to loosen your grip on a difficult situation. But no matter how hard you try to force or manipulate an outcome, things have a way of…
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An invitation
“A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.” ~David Whyte I love the way poet David Whyte reminds us that “real conversation” invites an honest exchange between people. But thanks in part to social media platforms, we often talk at each other — mostly about ourselves and our own interests. Every real conversation is an opportunity to learn something new about another person. When was the last time you were invited to share something about yourself? And how often do you ask others how they’re doing … and pause…
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Group dynamics
“Find something that you are passionate about — and you’ll find a waiting kinship of people willing to unite for the cause.” ~Wes Adamson Whether you enjoy books, music, politics, knitting, or helping others, there’s a group of people out there who share your passion. And if you can’t find a group to join, start one yourself. Group energy is fuel for the soul. During the pandemic, most Americans spent too much time alone or in small family bubbles. While family can be good company, psychologists agree that spending time with folks outside your family circle helps broaden your perspective, improves your social skills, and is essential to your mental health.…
