-
Willing to stand out
“You’ve got to be willing sometimes to stand alone. You’ve got to be willing to piss some people off. You’ve got to be willing to look different. Sound different. Be different. And those are risks that many of us are not willing to take.” ~Iyanla Vanzant Human beings are wired to belong. We want to feel accepted by our family. We gravitate toward friends who share our lifestyle, moral standards, and viewpoints. We all need a tribe. Paradoxically, each of us also has a different set of experiences and personal opinions. As we mature, we value authenticity — and individuality — in ourselves and others. Do you feel safe when…
-
Happiness and lower expectations
“There are two ways to be happy: Improve your reality or lower your expectations.” ~Jodi Picoult Have you ever expected more than someone else was able to give? Have you ever purchased something that didn’t turn out to be as cool as you’d thought it would be? Have you ever traveled to a place that was less amazing than others had described? As Anne Lamott wrote, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Truth is, we can’t always bend reality to meet all of our wants and needs. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep reaching for the best. But sometimes it means that we need to accept or appreciate what’s good enough — and…
-
Owning our mistakes
“If you’re not in the arena getting your butt kicked too, I’m not interested in your feedback.“~Brene Brown Everyone makes mistakes at work — in every field you can name. Some errors, however, are more public than others. If you’re a journalist or published author, for instance, the mistakes you make on the job are glaringly public and might remain in print forever. I recall times when I made errors that were, luckily, caught by sharp editors before they made it to print. But sometimes they weren’t caught — and I was humbled when my readers pointed them out. I learned early on that you really need to grow a…
-
Out of balance
“To be in any sort of relationship where you don’t express yourself, simply to keep the peace, is a relationship ruled by one person. It will never be balanced or healthy.” ~Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying Last week, I ran into someone who has a gift for making me feel both uneasy and insignificant. A sensitive subject came up, and this person — who chattered nonstop — had no interest in hearing my point of view or any of my suggestions. Not surprisingly, I couldn’t wait to escape. Reciprocity is a huge component of healthy, balanced relationships. That includes listening and conversing with an open mind…
-
Herd mentality
“Sheep only need a single flock, but people need two: One to belong to and make them feel comfortable, and another to blame all of society’s problems on.” ~James Rozoff When I was a kid, my parents often discussed politics and watched talk shows featuring guests with opposing viewpoints. They subscribed to (and read) both local and national newspapers. The three of us enjoyed rehashing important issues around the dinner table, giving me an opportunity to learn what I thought and valued during those discussions. I was encouraged to develop my own opinions — even if they didn’t mirror those of my parents. Herd mentality was not encouraged. My folks…
