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Stop the insults
“Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” ~Walt Whitman Today’s advice from Walt Whitman got me thinking about things that “insult my soul” and make me cringe. Topping my list are filthy bathrooms in restaurants, along with vulgar and obnoxious political leaders. There are dozens of other odious behaviors that some of us tolerate, even when they’re long past their expiration dates. Maybe we cling to habits that harm our health. Maybe we keep allowing certain people to disrespect us, or take us for granted. Maybe we keep ruminating on old emotional pain or anger. Maybe we keep settling for less because we’re not convinced that we deserve better. Years ago,…
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How to conquer stress
“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.” ~Andrew Bernstein Change your thoughts, change your life. It’s a timeworn catchphrase, often overused by self-help authors, celebrity psychologists, and motivational speakers. But like every catchphrase, it contains a grain of truth. It’s easier to blame outside sources for everything that’s going wrong. But like it or not, each of us is individually responsible for resolving our own inner turmoil. Everyone has a list of things to worry about. And there are countless crises beyond our control. How we handle these challenges…
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The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to kick your mistakes under the rug and act as if they never happened. Or blame someone else. Or make excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and it makes you look small. Worse yet, failure to apologize can damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity and humility. If you…
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Breaking your silence
“Once you start to speak, people will yell at you….or put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end. And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And at last you’ll know with surprising certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.” ~ Audre Lorde I thought of Audre Lorde’s words yesterday while editing another post about finding the courage to express our views — both personal and political. I thought about how difficult it has been, historically, for some people (especially women) to raise their…
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How to save the world
“This is the way we save the world: one peaceful word, one act of compassion, one long sweet nap, one burst of laughter at a time.” ~Martha Beck, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World Consuming the news can make me feel hopeless and sad. And it doesn’t matter which newspaper, or which news station, has my attention at the moment. No matter how they spin it, there’s a lot of ugliness out there. I long for a new age of unity, peace, decency, and civility. I wonder if that’s even possible anymore. As Martha Beck notes in today’s quote, each of us can take small steps toward healing —…
