Events & news
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Validation
“Just like children, our emotions heal when they are heard and validated.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey I love it when I read a paragraph in a book that jumps off the page and affirms something I’ve always believed — as if its author is speaking directly to me. Likewise, I have a friend who’s a caring, first-rate conversationalist. How does she do it? For starters, she pays attention and listens with an open heart. She has a rare gift for making others feel heard, uplifted, and validated in her presence. She doesn’t simply wait for you to stop talking so that she…
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Happy places
“Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.” ~Charlotte Bronte Sometimes, if I’m not mindful, disturbing news can poison my mood for days. As behavioral psychologists remind us, what we “feed” our minds influences so many other areas of our lives. A constant diet of doom, gloom, gossip, or conspiracy theories can drive just about anyone totally nuts. So, is ignorance bliss? Not really. But it helps to have a sense of humor — along with the willingness and capacity to look for the good in other people and things. When I’m feeling down, for…
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Old friends
Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst conducted a now-famous study on friendship. In particular, he investigated how the context in which we meet people shapes our social network. One of his conclusions: We naturally lose about half of our friends every seven years. Given our ever-changing circumstances — we move, change jobs, get married — it’s logistically impossible to remain close to every friend we’ve ever had. My dear friend Debbie and I touched on this topic yesterday. Deb and I met when we were both pregnant nearly 39 years ago, and our enduring friendship is wrapped in layers of shared memories and experiences. We’re also lucky enough to have kept a few…
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“Wild Geese”
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination.” — Mary Oliver Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese” touches a tender place in my soul, and I often share it with students in my workshops. It always sparks compelling personal stories and discussions after I read it aloud. As a child in Sunday school, I was terrified of disappointing the punitive, restrictive God portrayed in our leather-covered bibles. No matter how “good” I was, or how closely I followed the rules, I still felt judged and unworthy. Today, I follow my own moral compass, and I try not to allow the judgment of others to overshadow my…
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Funny Friday: On being disappointed
“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.” ~P.G. Wodehouse I’m sure you’ve heard the old expression, “He wears his heart on his sleeve,” in reference to a person whose emotions are easy to read. Along those lines, today’s quip from P.G. Wodehouse has a wry twist. Have you ever met anyone who looks chronically disappointed?
