relationships
-
Love and struggle
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It’s an active noun, like ‘struggle.'”~Fred Rogers All relationships evolve, change, and reshape themselves. In the early stages, we tend to idealize a new romantic partner as well as our new friends. But eventually we learn that no one can meet our expectations all of the time. The longer we know a person — and the more we grow — the more likely we’ll encounter conflicts and disappointments. Sometimes we’re called to face a crisis together. And sometimes we need extra support to handle a problem of our own. Fragile relationships won’t withstand the challenge — but the durable ones will. As Fred…
-
More than words
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou It’s not just what we say that matters — but how we say it. While preparing for an essay workshop, I ran across some notes I’d made about the importance of “voice and tone” in our writing. Since most personal essays are conversational, our job as writers is to draw readers into the heart and soul of our stories. We want others to relate to our experiences. The same is true when we’re talking with someone. Our tone of voice carries our intention, and everything we…
-
Funny Friday: “Whatever it takes”
“Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do that.” ~Anonymous quote found on Pinterest We can agree to disagree — and sometimes that works well enough. But sometimes disagreements escalate to the point of no return. When keeping the peace means sacrificing your own integrity and inner peace, well, the best thing you can do is step away and respectfully give the other person extra space. Lots of extra space. ~CL
-
Boundaries
“We live in a time when people have unprecedented access to us. Bosses and coworkers expect you to read emails and DMs late at night, friends and family go into long rants over the phone or texts and expect instant feedback. Sometimes we have to say, ‘I don’t have the capacity to hold you right now because I’m trying to hold myself.'” ~Melanie Santos Stone walls, fences, and guard rails define our limits and announce our boundaries. They protect our property or keep us from falling over the edge. Along these lines, emotional boundaries helps us guard our time and privacy. While the internet serves as an invaluable communication tool,…
-
Forgiveness
“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” ~Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre Responding to a recent “Life Lines” post about kicking our bad habits, a subscriber confided that giving up grudges tops her list of resolutions this year. We agreed that forgiveness is essential to our wellbeing — but not so easy to put into practice. Speaking for myself, I find it difficult to let go of righteous anger and resentment. But I’m trying. Everyone struggles with grudges, emotional wounds, and petty grievances. Yet we do so at great cost to our own health and wellbeing. As Anne Lamott writes in Traveling Mercies, “Not…
