Oakland Press columns
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Thoughts for last-minute holiday shopping
“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (This feature article was originally published 11/11/22 in The Sunday Oakland Press and online here.) Gift-giving can be as emotionally loaded as it is enjoyable — especially as we approach the Christmas season. As psychologists and etiquette experts agree, the stress of buying and exchanging gifts can dull our holiday sparkle if we don’t plan ahead. “Some people may feel social pressures to give gifts, but not in the same spirit as others,” says Irene S. Levine, PhD, psychologist and co-author of The Rules of Friendship. “If someone is depressed, for example, it…
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How to manage holiday grief and loss
“The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow If you’re grieving a loss, holiday festivities can feel especially painful and alienating. Last year I wrote a column on managing grief and loss during the holidays for The Sunday Oakland Press. For those who don’t subscribe to the newspaper and can’t open the article links, I’m reposting the column below. EMPTY CHAIRS AT CHRISTMAS, by Cindy La Ferle for The Oakland Press My mother died three months before Christmas eight years ago. Since my father had passed several years earlier, my first Christmas season without Mom…
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Life without Facebook
“The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating eight years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of years ago, its message still applies today —…
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Nobody wins the waiting game
“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh Someone I know often complains that she rarely hears from some of her old friends and relatives. They’ve stopped calling to invite her out for lunch and other social activities. She’s sure she hasn’t “done anything” to deserve this neglect. Why have these people gone dark on her? Well, she’s right about the part where she said she hasn’t done anything. When I asked if she ever reaches out to initiate activities or simply keep in touch, she admitted that she rarely does. She…
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Summer hasn’t left yet …
“Summer nearly does me in every year. It’s too hot and the light is unforgiving and the days go on way too long.” ~Anne Lamott, humorist and author We tend to think of Labor Day as the end of summer — but the season isn’t officially over until the autumnal equinox, which falls this year on September 22. So let’s not rush things. Grab a cold beverage and head for your front porch or patio. Invite summer to stay a while longer. And while you’re at it, make plans to savor every fair-weather activity you can fit on your calendar for the next couple of weeks. An Oakland Press feature…
