Home & Family
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Redefining “family”
“Family was a bigger word than I imagined, wide and without limitations, if you allowed it, defying easy definition. You had family that was supposed to be family and wasn’t, family that wasn’t family but was….It was possible to lack whole, honest love and connection from family in lead roles, yet to be filled to abundance by the unexpected supporting players.” ~Deb Colette, The Secret Life of Prince Charming The winter holidays traditionally shine a bright light on our family relationships. Sometimes that’s a beautiful thing, and sometimes it’s … complicated. (In yesterday’s post, I shared a column about coping with the loss of loved ones during the holidays.) Whether it’s…
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What’s your grandparenting style?
“If I’d known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.” ~Lois Wyse About three years ago, I was thrilled to add “Grandma” to my resume. But I couldn’t help but wonder: Had my childcare skills gotten rusty? What makes a good grandparent? I understood the fine line between hovering and supporting — and I wasn’t sure how to get it right. After doing a little research, I learned there are five key styles of grandparenting. That’s the topic of my new column in The Oakland Press. To read it online, please click here. Or you’ll find it here in the May issue of Vitality…
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The feeling is mutual
“We really have to understand the people we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step It’s February — and I’ll be posting lots of good thoughts about love this month. But I like to think of “love” as an all-encompassing word that wraps its meaning around so much more than romantic relationships. Today, Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that real love means honoring the humanity…
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Book banning
“Ideas are only lethal if you suppress and don’t discuss them. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s stupid. Banning books shows you don’t trust your kids to think and you don’t trust yourself to be able to talk to them.” ~Anna Quindlen Last night, I had the pleasure of working at one of my favorite local libraries. Before my class started, I enjoyed a quiet moment, browsing the shelves and absorbing the ambiance created by so many literary choices. And then I thought about all the recent talk on TV about book banning. As my mother used to say, you can make just about anything twice as attractive or interesting by…
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Anniversary musings
“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche Last month, Doug and I celebrated our 42nd anniversary. During a celebratory dinner at a local restaurant, our server asked us if we’d share the secrets of a long and happy partnership. She was living with her boyfriend, she said, and wasn’t sure about their future together. Doug and I assured her that the success of a marriage depends on the couple — and every couple is different, of course. For us, shared values and interests are essential,…
