Health & wellbeing
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When disappointment knocks
“Disappointment is a stepping stone to resilience. It toughens you up and prepares you for the challenges that lie ahead.” ~Michelle Obama I like to think of myself as an optimist — yet there are times when I’m deeply disappointed in how things turn out. Sometimes I’m terrified. I want to see the best in my fellow humans, and I try to cling to the hope that we’re all striving for the truth and reaching toward the brightest light. But when things happen to corrupt this point of view, I can’t sugarcoat it or pretend otherwise. And I refuse to keep lowering my expectations. So, yes, my rose-colored glasses are…
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How to conquer stress
“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.” ~Andrew Bernstein Change your thoughts, change your life. It’s a timeworn catchphrase, often overused by self-help authors, celebrity psychologists, and motivational speakers. But like every catchphrase, it contains a grain of truth. It’s easier to blame outside sources for everything that’s going wrong. But like it or not, you alone are individually responsible for resolving your inner turmoil. Every person on earth faces health crises, job changes, painful losses, and road blocks. How you view your own — and how you view…
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Puppy love
“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” ~Marilyn Monroe As long as we’re celebrating the month of love, we can’t overlook our wonderful four-legged friends. If you’re anything like me, you consider your dogs and cats as part of your family — and adore them just as much. (As my friends will tell you, you’d better not come to my house if you don’t enjoy animals.) Pet ownership provides companionship and well-documented health benefits, as I discovered after adopting our beautiful Coco, shown above, from a local animal shelter. That’s the topic of my newest column in the February issue of Vitality and online in The Oakland Press. If you live…
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Old friends
Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst conducted a now-famous study on friendship. In particular, he investigated how the context in which we meet people shapes our social network. One of his conclusions: We naturally lose about half of our friends every seven years. Given our ever-changing circumstances — we move, change jobs, get married — it’s logistically impossible to remain close to every friend we’ve ever had. My dear friend Debbie and I touched on this topic yesterday. Deb and I met when we were both pregnant nearly 39 years ago, and our enduring friendship is wrapped in layers of shared memories and experiences. We’re also lucky enough to have kept a few…
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Love and struggle
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It’s an active noun, like ‘struggle.'”~Fred Rogers Relationships of any kind will evolve, change, and reshape themselves. In the early stages, we tend to idealize a new partner as well as our new friends. But who on earth can live up to our highest expectations — all of the time? The longer we know and love someone, and the more we grow, the more likely we’ll encounter a few obstacles, conflicts, and disappointments. Sometimes we’re called to struggle with a crisis together, or we need extra support to handle a problem or a challenge. Fragile relationships won’t withstand the stress — but the…
