Health & wellbeing
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Competition
“Inside the Great Mystery that is, we don’t really own anything. So, what is this competition we feel then, before we walk, one at a time, through the same gate?” ~Rumi Lately I’ve been thinking about competition. Is competition rooted in sibling rivalry or is it simply human nature? Do we compete because we lack something, feel inferior, or need validation? Is competition necessary for our survival? Do trophies and awards really matter? Are we all driven to win or outshine others? Growing up an only child, I learned that many folks — often those from larger families — expected me to be “spoiled” and stingy and attention-seeking. And so,…
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Seize the day!
“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.” ~Oscar Wilde Oscar Wilde wouldn’t agree, but studies show that early risers have several advantages. For starters, they typically go to bed earlier — in step with healthy circadian rhythms — and are more likely to get eight or nine hours of sleep. Researchers at Northwestern University found that early risers are slimmer, probably due to the fact that body weight is influenced by exposure to natural light. According to this study, people who had most of their daily exposure to bright light in the morning had a significantly lower body mass index (BMI) than those who had most of their light exposure…
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Find your own shoe
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another. There is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” ~Carl Jung, psychiatrist and author There’s something called the theory of social comparison, which suggests that comparing and contrasting ourselves to our peers is key to our identity. Social comparison helps us form or solidify our values, preferences, and feelings of self-worth. If our friends or favorite celebrities are wearing a particular style, for instance, we’re likely to mimic or mirror it — whether we genuinely like it or not. This explains, in part, the dubious trend of spending top dollar for ripped jeans and painful footwear. Things get even more complicated…
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Boundaries
“We live in a time when people have unprecedented access to us. Bosses and coworkers expect you to read emails and DMs late at night, friends and family go into long rants over the phone or texts and expect instant feedback. Sometimes we have to say, ‘I don’t have the capacity to hold you right now because I’m trying to hold myself.'” ~Melanie Santos Stone walls, fences, and guard rails define our limits and announce our boundaries. They protect our property or keep us from falling over the edge. Along these lines, emotional boundaries helps us guard our time and privacy. While the internet serves as an invaluable communication tool,…
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Asserting vs bullying
“The practice of assertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others; treating people with respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways, in appropriate contexts.” ~ Nathaniel Branden, psychologist While most of us understand the concept, “assertiveness” isn’t always easy to practice. For some of us, being assertive can feel uncomfortable — even when it means standing up for ourselves or asking for what we deserve. On the other hand, sometimes we allow others to bully us or take advantage of our generosity.…
