Health & wellbeing
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It’s OK if you’re not busy
“If nothing’s working for you, if you feel as though you’re pushing forward against the grain, the most productive and proactive thing you can do is nothing. Nature is turning you inward, to gain power through peace, rather than outward to gain power through activity.” ~Martha Beck Sometimes I feel ashamed if I’m not being productive, even on a vacation. I still try to check my email and answer it, or take notes on projects I could work on later … Even if I’m only spinning my wheels, I want to believe I’m accomplishing something. I’m simply following the cultural norm. “I’m busy” isn’t just a catchphrase, after all. Most people…
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How to comfort a grieving friend
“If you’re my age, you’ve probably had your heart broken many times. So it’s not that difficult to unpack a bit of grief from some little corner of your heart and cry over it.” ~Emma Thompson Losing our parents and other loved ones is a reality of life as we age — a reality that’s easier to face if we have a nurturing support system. But sometimes it’s hard to know how to help and comfort friends who are grieving a new loss. That’s the topic of my newest column in The Sunday Oakland Press. You’ll find it in the Homefront section in the print edition (July 2) or you…
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Moving in another direction
“Taking a step back to walk away from situations that threaten your peace of mind, values, morals, or self-worth, is almost always a healthy and necessary step forward.” ~Marc and Angel Chernoff Growing up, we were often lectured about the importance of “sticking with it” — even when we suspected it wasn’t right for us. Of course, there’s merit in staying the course and working through difficult times and rough patches, but sometimes it’s better to slow down and reassess what’s really going on, as today’s quote reminds us. We might decide that it’s wiser moving on to something else. Loyalty to anyone or anything isn’t a virtue if it’s seriously messing…
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More joy, please
“When we place our attention on joy, we become more joyful. The world seems more benevolent.” ~Martha Beck When I focus on the top stories in the news — an uncertain economic forecast, for starters — I catch myself feeling angry, fearful or depressed. But the worst part, really, is that I lose sight of the goodness in my life. You have to be receptive to moments of joy. And you have to be ready to catch it in unexpected places. While some people think joy can be bought, the brightest sparks of joy are often available free of charge. I find joy in spring gardens that are just waking…
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Hearts of stone?
“Whatever you want emotionally, you have to start giving away.” ~Mary Karr, memoirist According to Dr. Lindsay Jernigan, a clinical psychologist quoted on PsychCentral.com, the term “emotionally unavailable” refers to individuals who are “not comfortable feeling their own emotions, sharing emotions with others, or being present and responsive to someone else’s emotions.” Emotionally unavailable people don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves. We might describe them as prickly, distant, aloof, or unapproachable. And that doesn’t mean they’re unworthy of our affection — but they’re probably not the first ones we reach for when we need a dose of comfort. We all know a few folks who qualify as emotionally unavailable…
