Health & wellbeing
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It’s OK if you’re not busy
“If nothing’s working for you, if you feel as though you’re pushing forward against the grain, the most productive and proactive thing you can do is nothing. Nature is turning you inward, to gain power through peace, rather than outward to gain power through activity.” ~Martha Beck Sometimes I feel ashamed if I’m not being productive, even on a vacation. I still try to check my email and answer it, or take notes on projects I could work on later … Even if I’m only spinning my wheels, I want to believe I’m accomplishing something. I’m simply following the cultural norm. “I’m busy” isn’t just a catchphrase, after all. Most people…
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Who’s in control?
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free “She’s/He’s a control freak!” I hear the phrase all the time, and I’ll bet you do too. Anytime we encounter folks who can’t resist taking over the wheel, or get wigged out when things don’t go according to their plans, we call them control freaks. Control freaks typically insist on taking the lead, and will even clean up our mistakes while they explain how to do it better the next time. Control freaks can…
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How to comfort a grieving friend
“If you’re my age, you’ve probably had your heart broken many times. So it’s not that difficult to unpack a bit of grief from some little corner of your heart and cry over it.” ~Emma Thompson Losing our parents and other loved ones is a reality of life as we age — a reality that’s easier to face if we have a nurturing support system. But sometimes it’s hard to know how to help and comfort friends who are grieving a new loss. That’s the topic of my newest column in The Sunday Oakland Press. You’ll find it in the Homefront section in the print edition (July 2) or you…
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Moving in another direction
“Taking a step back to walk away from situations that threaten your peace of mind, values, morals, or self-worth, is almost always a healthy and necessary step forward.” ~Marc and Angel Chernoff Growing up, we were often lectured about the importance of “sticking with it” — even when we suspected it wasn’t right for us. Of course, there’s merit in staying the course and working through difficult times and rough patches, but sometimes it’s better to slow down and reassess what’s really going on, as today’s quote reminds us. We might decide that it’s wiser moving on to something else. Loyalty to anyone or anything isn’t a virtue if it’s seriously messing…
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Group dynamics
“Find something that you are passionate about — and you’ll find a waiting kinship of people willing to unite for the cause.” ~Wes Adamson Whether you’re passionate about books, music, politics, knitting, or helping others, there’s a group of people out there who share your interest. And if you can’t find the right special-interest group to join, consider starting one yourself. Group energy is fuel for the soul — and expands your personal universe. After months of pandemic isolation, most of us got used to spending time alone or in small family bubbles. And while a family is a group with guaranteed membership, psychologists agree that spending quality time with friends…
