Health & wellbeing
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Find your own shoe
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another. There is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” ~Carl Jung, psychiatrist and author There’s something called the theory of social comparison, which suggests that comparing and contrasting ourselves to our peers is key to our identity. Social comparison helps us form or solidify our values, preferences, and feelings of self-worth. If our friends or favorite celebrities are wearing a particular style, for instance, we’re likely to mimic or mirror it — whether we genuinely like it or not. This explains, in part, the dubious trend of spending top dollar for ripped jeans and painful footwear. Things get even more complicated…
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Boundaries
“We live in a time when people have unprecedented access to us. Bosses and coworkers expect you to read emails and DMs late at night, friends and family go into long rants over the phone or texts and expect instant feedback. Sometimes we have to say, ‘I don’t have the capacity to hold you right now because I’m trying to hold myself.'” ~Melanie Santos Stone walls, fences, and guard rails define our limits and announce our boundaries. They protect our property or keep us from falling over the edge. Along these lines, emotional boundaries helps us guard our time and privacy. While the internet serves as an invaluable communication tool,…
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Asserting vs bullying
“The practice of assertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others; treating people with respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways, in appropriate contexts.” ~ Nathaniel Branden, psychologist While most of us understand the concept, “assertiveness” isn’t always easy to practice. For some of us, being assertive can feel uncomfortable — even when it means standing up for ourselves or asking for what we deserve. On the other hand, sometimes we allow others to bully us or take advantage of our generosity.…
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Surf’s up
“While you are riding the wave, just put your best self out there and enjoy it.” ~Frieda Pinto My son has told me that I tend to “overthink” things. I like to believe this trait is part of being a writer — but I’ll admit that focusing on what could possibly go wrong can be a tiresome habit in daily life. Even when there’s nothing to worry about, I don’t always trust my good fortune or my good luck. I wait for the other metaphorical shoe to drop. Psychologists call it “anticipatory anxiety.” Today’s quote is a perfect reminder for over-thinkers like me. When life is going well, the smartest…
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Believe in yourself
“What you believe yourself to be, you are.” ~Claude M. Bristol, The Magic of Believing World War I veteran Claude Bristol (1891-1951) was a pioneer of the positive thinking movement. He wrote The Magic of Believing to help his fellow veterans adapt to civilian life — yet it also resonated with others who struggled to overcome trauma, self-limiting patterns, or negative attitudes. Bristol was convinced that success in any realm depends on dedication, belief, and character. His philosophy explains how some people triumph over adversity while others remain stuck. In essence, Bristol’s “magic” was about unleashing the power of the subconscious mind. You are what you believe. You achieve what…
