Grief and loss
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When you have to improvise
“Just because things hadn’t gone as I’d planned didn’t necessarily mean they’d gone wrong.” ~Ann Patchett When I was younger, I cringed at the old adage, “Everything happens for a reason.” It seemed like a sugar-coated excuse for rotten luck or bad choices. But the more I experienced life, the more I noticed that the most challenging/stressful events — like having surgery on both of my hips — turned out to be incredible periods of growth for me. There was something valuable to learn from every episode of pain and loss I’ve endured. Sometimes the recipes you follow in a cookbook don’t turn out well; sometimes you have to improvise.…
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When one door closes …
“When certain people walk away from you, or certain opportunities close their doors on you, there is no need to hold on….Take it as a direct indication that these people, circumstances, or opportunities are not part of the next chapter in your life. It’s a sign that your growth requires someone different or something more, and life is simply making room.” ~Marc & Angel Hack Life I’ve faced a lot of closed doors, having worked in journalism for 40 years. The internet has changed this business in countless ways, closing down (or shrinking) many favorite print publications that regularly published my work. Like so many of my fellow journalists, I’ve…
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When life feels too short
Yesterday I attended the visitation for a neighbor’s husband, a man whose life ended too soon following an illness. The funeral home was crowded with family, old neighbors and friends. Other neighbors who’d known Jim for decades — whose children grew up with his — had many good stories and memories to share. Sadly, I learned more about him after he died than I did when he lived a few blocks away from me. Isn’t that the way it often goes? We’ve had too much bad news in our wonderful neighborhood (and our world) lately. And if we’re not mindful, it’s easy to get pulled under by the long, slow…
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How to comfort a grieving friend
“If you’re my age, you’ve probably had your heart broken many times. So it’s not that difficult to unpack a bit of grief from some little corner of your heart and cry over it.” ~Emma Thompson Losing our parents and other loved ones is a reality of life as we age — a reality that’s easier to face if we have a nurturing support system. But sometimes it’s hard to know how to help and comfort friends who are grieving a new loss. That’s the topic of my newest column in The Sunday Oakland Press. You’ll find it in the Homefront section in the print edition (July 2) or you…
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Goodbye to Mom’s house
“No matter how far we’ve come, our parents are always in us.” ~ Brad Meltzer Even after we’ve grown up and moved on, the homes of our parents still hold many of our family memories and stories. If you’ve lost both of your parents, you know that the process of selling their last home — and the things they’ve accumulated — is one of the toughest parts of the grieving process. Yet it can be therapeutic, too. My latest column in The Sunday Oakland Press Homefront section addresses this bittersweet topic. You’ll find it in the Sunday print edition tomorrow (March 5) or you can read it online here. ~CL
