Friendship and relationship advice
-
The heart of the matter
“To love well is the task in all meaningful relationships, not just romantic bonds.” ~bell hooks As we cozy up to the middle of winter, our thoughts turn to love. And while February is known as the month for celebrating romance, I think it’s fitting to include friendship and family relationships in the love fest. As medical experts remind us, having an active social life (in person) is a major key to longevity and mental health. Throughout this month, I’ll be including quotes and reflections on the joys and challenges of opening our hearts to others — and how love can make our world a better place. ~CL
-
Trusted friends
“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” ~Virginia Woolf English author Virginia Woolf often celebrated the gift of friendship in her books and diaries. She knew how precious it is to have a friend or two who will listen to our fears, hopes, and dreams. As Woolf observed, that level of trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s often rooted in years of shared history and experience — and thrives in the rich soil of mutual support. If you’re feeling down and blue, a good talk with a trusted friend can be the best antidote. I’m grateful for the friendships I lean on when the light goes…
-
A Thanksgiving conversation primer
“Real conversation can’t happen if listening is just my waiting for you to finish talking.” ~Alan Alda Our social lives took a huge hit during the pandemic. We celebrated birthdays with drive-by parades, limited our holiday gatherings to small family bubbles, and even Zoomed memorial services. Now that our lives are back to near-normal, we look forward to gathering around our holiday tables with friends and family. We’re also rediscovering how to talk to each other after long periods of semi-isolation and social distancing. Not long after the pandemic eased, a friend confided that her social skills suddenly feel a bit “rusty” — especially when she meets new people at larger parties or work functions. No wonder.…
-
Black hole relationships
“Because we fear other people’s reactions and don’t know how to respond, we allow them to violate our limits and boundaries.” ~Sue Patton Thoele Is there a person at work or in your social circle who resents or dislikes you — despite your best attempts to be thoughtful and kind? Are you putting more into a one-sided friendship than you’re getting out of it? Do you ever wonder why some personalities fit together and others simply don’t click? If so, you might find some validation in my essay on “black hole relationships.” It’s excerpted from my essay collection, Writing Home, and is featured this week in Friendship Rules. Click here to…
-
Make a note of it
“In this era of email and voice mail and all those things that I didn’t grow up with, a plain old paper letter takes on amazing intimacy.” ~Elizabeth Kostova Yesterday I found a hand-written thank you note in my mail slot, delivered by the husband of a neighbor who’s still recovering from joint-replacement surgery. I had dropped off a container of chili at their home a week earlier, knowing how hard it is to cook meals when you’re barely able to walk. This dear neighbor had extended the same kindness to me when I was recovering — and I certainly didn’t expect her to write a thank you note. Nonetheless,…
