Friendship and relationship advice
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Owning our mistakes
“Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.” ~Craig Silvey Mistakes were made. Commentator William Saffire once described the phrase as “a passive-evasive way of acknowledging an error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.” In other words, “Mistakes were made” isn’t a real apology. As today’s quote reminds us, a real apology is an offering. An apology shows that you accept your responsibility for a mistake, which elevates you in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt. On the other hand, making excuses for your errors — or trying to justify them —…
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No regrets
“Life is a lot more fragile than we think. So you should treat others in a way that leaves no regrets. Fairly, and if possible, sincerely.” ~Haruki Murakami At dinner last night, a neighbor texted to tell me that the husband of a former neighbor had died suddenly. The man was only in his sixties, and his death was one of several losses in our neighborhood over the past year. We’re reminded, at times like these, to treat each other with care, sensitivity, and respect. And no matter how old we are, we can start by setting aside our pride (or grievances) and telling our loved ones how much they…
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A short survival guide for grads
At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.” ~Paul Freund Like most moms, I spent years lecturing my child on the importance of working hard, eating healthy meals, writing thank-you notes, and ironing his dress shirts. But I neglected to impart other nuggets of wisdom along the way. As my dad used to say, earning good grades is important, but learning how to get along with people is even more important. That’s why I wrote the following list of graduation “survival tips” and shared them in my local newspaper column before my son…
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Selfish motives
“Almost every offensive action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” ~Stephen Kendrick Sometimes I catch myself doing things that would annoy me if someone else did the same. Talking too much and forgetting to return borrowed books are just a couple of quick examples. I’m sure my family and close friends would offer a much longer list of aggravating things I do. Just ask. So, today’s quote got me thinking about why we’re slow to recognize our own bad behavior — but quick to notice offending behavior in others. Selfish motives keep us…
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Sitting it out
“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so that you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to you because they believe in your capacity to know their darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.” ~ Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage Being fully human means you’re going to experience bouts of disappointment, anger, and sadness. Someone will say or do something that hurts or alienates you. Or you might say something insensitive and hurtful to someone else. As hard as we try to avoid emotional collisions, we all stumble on conflicts we can’t fix,…
