Friendship and relationship advice
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Point of view
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Folks who lack empathy view everything solely from their own perspective, putting their own needs and desires first. They hear only what they want to hear. They don’t seem to care if their actions are hurtful or offensive. They believe their personal opinions and biases are the universal truth — and can’t understand why others are often at…
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Are you really listening?
“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Some folks are always thinking about what they want to say next — and not really listening to others. I notice this often on talks shows and discussion panels, and I’ve experienced it myself in daily conversations. Listening is an unsung, unspoken skill — and we can learn from those who do it well. Attentive listeners silence their own egos. They don’t try to hijack or dominate a conversation, and they don’t try to “top” anything you’ve just said. They ask thoughtful follow-up questions after you’ve had your say,…
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Putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson When I was younger, I often placed the wants and wishes of others before my own — even in matters as simple as choosing where to go out for dinner. Like other women I knew, I allowed myself to remain stuck in second place. Everyone else, it seemed, had greater needs, better ideas, or bigger problems to solve than I had. Even if someone gave me “permission” to put myself first, I felt guilty when I did so. Thankfully,…
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Enough to share
“Love is something that if you give it away, you end up having more.” ~Malvina Reynolds For years I’ve been fascinated by the “law of abundance,” which some might dismiss as one of those woo-woo New Age theories. I think there’s something to it. In a nutshell, the abundance theory suggests that if you live generously, acting on the belief that there’s always plenty to share, you’ll attract more goodness in your life. In other words, the more you give away — whether it’s love, money, time, or produce from your garden — the more you get back. Conversely, if you’re stingy or overly protective of your own resources, you’re…
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The future of incivility
“If you do not have control over your mouth, you will not have control over your future.” ~Germany Kent Some folks feel entitled to speak their minds without regard for the feelings of others. When they hurt or offend someone, they’re more likely to defend themselves rather than apologize. Or they might accuse others of being too sensitive. In any event, words have consequences. For starters, rude or callous remarks reflect badly on the speaker’s character. As today’s quote suggests, it’s best to think before you speak. Insensitive comments, personal or political, will come back to haunt you later. ~CL
