Friendship and relationship advice
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How Karma works
“We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them.” ~Elbert Hubbard We’ve all met people we don’t like. Sometimes our dislike stems from a series of hurtful, negative experiences. And other times it simply boils down to bad chemistry or a personality clash. In any event, people usually “sense” when we don’t care for them — even when we try to pretend otherwise. Not surprisingly, those feelings are reciprocated, and the distance between us grows. On the other hand, if we have positive, loving feelings toward someone, they’ll feel the love too. Consider the folks whose affection for you is enthusiastic and unconditional — the ones…
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Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us wisely avoid discussing hot-button topics when we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. That said, I was thinking recently about the gift of knowing a few trusted friends with whom I can speak freely about any topic. When…
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Group dynamics
“Find something that you are passionate about — and you’ll find a waiting kinship of people willing to unite for the cause.” ~Wes Adamson Whether you’re passionate about books, music, politics, knitting, or helping others, there’s a group of people out there who share your interest. And if you can’t find the right special-interest group to join, consider starting one yourself. Group energy is fuel for the soul — and expands your personal universe. After months of pandemic isolation, most of us got used to spending time alone or in small family bubbles. And while a family is a group with guaranteed membership, psychologists agree that spending quality time with friends…
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The new rules of friendship
“Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. “I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.” “You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing.” ~E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web While researching the topic of friendship for an article several years ago, I discovered the work of Irene S. Levine, PhD, the popular psychologist and author known as the Friendship Doctor. Soon after, Irene became my go-to expert when I needed quotes and tips for relationship articles or columns. She also became a treasured and supportive friend. Today, nearly every time I thumb through a national magazine, I see Irene quoted in…
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Listening is a healing art
“People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” ~Cheryl Richardson I felt totally unmoored when my primary care physician announced his retirement last year. For more than 25 years, Dr. Paul managed my healthcare and provided first-rate referrals to the specialists I needed, including the orthopedic surgeon who replaced both of my hips. Most of all, my good doctor listened with care. He took my concerns seriously. Luckily, my new primary care doctor is a compassionate listener too. Though I’m new to her practice, I’m pleased with the relationship we’re building. Likewise, I appreciate those rare friends and family members who listen deeply. As Cheryl Richardson suggests in today’s quote,…
