Friendship and relationship advice
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When “I’m sorry” isn’t enough
“If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~ Robert Frost If you’ve ever offended a grudge-bearer, you know exactly how it feels to be unforgiven. The error you committed is chained forever to your ankle, and your relationship with the grudge-bearer is compromised, to say the least. Many years ago, I deeply disappointed a family member by forgetting to attend a Sunday dinner she’d invited my husband and me to attend. Stressed and way overbooked at the time, I had forgotten…
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How Karma works
“We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them.” ~Elbert Hubbard We’ve all met people we don’t like. Sometimes our dislike stems from a series of hurtful, negative experiences. And other times it simply boils down to bad chemistry or a personality clash. In any event, people usually “sense” when we don’t care for them — even when we try to pretend otherwise. Not surprisingly, those feelings are reciprocated, and the distance between us grows. On the other hand, if we have positive, loving feelings toward someone, they’ll feel the love too. Consider the folks whose affection for you is enthusiastic and unconditional — the ones…
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Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us wisely avoid discussing hot-button topics when we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. That said, I was thinking recently about the gift of knowing a few trusted friends with whom I can speak freely about any topic. When…
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How to get what you want
“Whatever you want emotionally, you have to start giving away.” ~Mary Karr In her best-selling memoir, The Liar’s Club, Mary Karr chronicles her deeply troubled childhood and her descent into alcoholism. Published in 1995, the book’s raw emotional honesty and humor resonated with readers — and topped the NYT bestseller list for a year. At the heart of Karr’s message is a simple reminder for everyone: We must find the courage reach out for what we want — and stop expecting others to read our minds and automatically fulfill our needs. In other words, if you want honesty and authenticity in your relationships, be honest and authentic. If you want…
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Group dynamics
“Find something that you are passionate about — and you’ll find a waiting kinship of people willing to unite for the cause.” ~Wes Adamson Whether you’re passionate about books, music, politics, knitting, or helping others, there’s a group of people out there who share your interest. And if you can’t find the right special-interest group to join, consider starting one yourself. Group energy is fuel for the soul — and expands your personal universe. After months of pandemic isolation, most of us got used to spending time alone or in small family bubbles. And while a family is a group with guaranteed membership, psychologists agree that spending quality time with friends…
