Friendship and relationship advice
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How to get what you want
“Whatever you want emotionally, you have to start giving away.” ~Mary Karr In her best-selling memoir, The Liar’s Club, Mary Karr chronicles her troubled youth and descent into alcoholism. Published in 1995, the book’s raw emotional honesty and humor resonated with readers and topped the NYT bestseller list for a year. Now considered a classic, it’s often studied in memoir writing workshops. Karr’s quote issues a lifelong challenge: You must reach for what you want in your relationships; don’t wait for it all to come to you. If you’re looking for honesty and authenticity, be honest and authentic. If you want more love and attention, give more love and attention.…
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Don’t take them for granted
“Being taken for granted is an unpleasant but sincere form of praise. Ironically, the more reliable you are, and the less you complain, the more likely you are to be taken for granted.” ~Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project Today’s quote stopped me in my tracks when I first read it in The Happiness Project. I believe there are better forms of “praise” than being taken for granted. Most people want to feel appreciated. And everyone wants to be seen, heard, or validated — which partly explains our cultural addiction to social media. While it’s a privilege to be a “reliable” presence in someone’s life, being taken for granted can make…
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Out of balance
“Any sort of relationship where you don’t express yourself, simply to keep the peace, is a relationship ruled by one person. It will never be balanced or healthy.” ~Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying Reciprocity is a major part of healthy, balanced relationships. And in this case, we’re not talking about exchanging gifts or returning social invitations. Reciprocity is also a willingness to learn from others. Do you feel out of place or uncomfortable when you express your feelings or opinions around certain people? How often do you often find yourself “keeping the peace” at your own expense? ~CL
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When “I’m sorry” isn’t enough
“If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~ Robert Frost Years ago, when we were young, busy parents, Doug and I deeply disappointed a family member by forgetting to attend a Sunday dinner she’d invited us to attend. Stressed and overbooked at the time, we’d forgotten to write the date of the dinner on our kitchen calendar — so we missed it. Of course, I was totally mortified when our relative called to ask why we didn’t show up. Doug and…
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The art of disappointing others
“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.” ~Cheryl Richardson Have you ever attended an event you dreaded because you didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings? Do you ever withhold your opinion — or agree with an opposing viewpoint — because you fear rejection or criticism? How many times do you say “Yes” out of obligation rather than enthusiasm? Do you always put…
