Communication
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A Thanksgiving conversation primer
“Real conversation can’t happen if listening is just my waiting for you to finish talking.” ~Alan Alda Our social lives took a huge hit during the pandemic. We celebrated birthdays with drive-by parades, limited our holiday gatherings to small family bubbles, and even Zoomed memorial services. Now that our lives are back to near-normal, we look forward to gathering around our holiday tables with friends and family. We’re also rediscovering how to talk to each other after long periods of semi-isolation and social distancing. Not long after the pandemic eased, a friend confided that her social skills suddenly feel a bit “rusty” — especially when she meets new people at larger parties or work functions. No wonder.…
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Make a note of it
“In this era of email and voice mail and all those things that I didn’t grow up with, a plain old paper letter takes on amazing intimacy.” ~Elizabeth Kostova Yesterday I found a hand-written thank you note in my mail slot, delivered by the husband of a neighbor who’s still recovering from joint-replacement surgery. I had dropped off a container of chili at their home a week earlier, knowing how hard it is to cook meals when you’re barely able to walk. This dear neighbor had extended the same kindness to me when I was recovering — and I certainly didn’t expect her to write a thank you note. Nonetheless,…
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Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us wisely avoid discussing hot-button topics when we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. That said, I was thinking recently about the gift of knowing a few trusted friends with whom I can speak freely about any topic. When…
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Active listening
“Active listening and communication will aid you in the ability to understand and relate to others’ feelings and circumstances.” ~Shannen Zitz, Prevention magazine Have you noticed lately that most people simply wait for others to stop talking so that they can start reciting their own monologues? That’s not active listening. What does it mean to be an active listener? Active listeners are curious and have a sincere interest in other people. They hush their own egos and pay attention when other people speak; they’re not preoccupied with themselves. Active listening requires discipline. It means we have to focus on the content of what the other person is saying — and…
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Getting quiet
“There’s a deep, sweet, peaceful sense that comes when wordlessness moves in and the verbal mind drops away.” ~Martha Beck Yesterday I started my routine at sunrise with a mug of coffee, then worked on Monday’s Life Lines post. As soon as I shared that post with all of you, I spent the next few hours finishing a newspaper column before sending it off to the editor. In the evening, my husband and I met another couple for a birthday dinner and chatted for two hours before heading home. That’s a lot of words in one day. After I post this, I plan to savor a quiet morning — a…
