Civility and manners
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When “I’m sorry” isn’t enough
“If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~ Robert Frost If you’ve ever offended a grudge-bearer, you know exactly how it feels to be unforgiven. The error you committed is chained forever to your ankle, and your relationship with the grudge-bearer is compromised, to say the least. Many years ago, I deeply disappointed a family member by forgetting to attend a Sunday dinner she’d invited my husband and me to attend. Stressed and way overbooked at the time, I had forgotten…
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How we see things
“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”~Anais Nin Our experience and circumstances shape how we perceive things, as French memoirist Anais Nin reminds us in today’s quote. If I’ve had a bad meal in a restaurant, for instance, I’m unlikely to try it again — even if my dining companions enjoyed everything they ordered. Whenever I find myself offended, annoyed, or angered, I’m tempted to adopt the stance of self-righteousness. That’s when I absolutely need to stop and consider the reasons behind another person’s actions or opinions. And that’s when a little empathy comes in handy. Have I taken time to understand what that…
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Listening skills
“One of the benchmarks of great communicators is their ability to listen — not just to what’s being said, but to what’s not being said as well. They listen between the lines.” ~ Laurie Buchanan, author I’ve always been interested in how communication works — or doesn’t work — in our daily lives. Good listening skills are as essential to healthy relationships as good talk. Thankfully, I’m married to a guy who’s an outstanding, empathetic listener. (That’s him in the background of the photo above.) More often than not, however, I notice that other people are so focused on what they want to say next that they aren’t really listening to…
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Active listening
“Active listening and communication will aid you in the ability to understand and relate to others’ feelings and circumstances.” ~Shannen Zitz, Prevention magazine Have you noticed lately that most people simply wait for others to stop talking so that they can start reciting their own monologues? That’s not active listening. What does it mean to be an active listener? Active listeners are curious and have a sincere interest in other people. They hush their own egos and pay attention when other people speak; they’re not preoccupied with themselves. Active listening requires discipline. It means we have to focus on the content of what the other person is saying — and…
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Mistakes
“You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.” ~Marc Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life At some point, we’ve all messed up, made spelling errors, burned the dinner, turned the wrong way on a one-way street, said something offensive, and hurt people’s feelings. Nobody leaves this world flawless and error-free. But we all know a few folks who will do anything to avoid admitting a mistake, hoping it will miraculously disappear if they pretend it didn’t happen. In other words: Their self-image is more important than the feelings or wellbeing of others. Then there are the ones who manage to screw up a good…
