Civility and manners
-
Who really said that?
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” – Henry Thomas Buckle (1821 – 1862), English historian Not unlike gossip, many of the popular quotations we can easily pull from the Internet are misattributed or taken out of context. It’s worth doing some research to determine the origin and authenticity of the material. The more we spread misinformation, the harder it is to pinpoint the truth, the real source. Just like gossip. Today’s quote is often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt. But apparently scholars can’t find anything close to it in any of Roosevelt’s writings or speeches. According to an in-depth piece in the Quote Investigator, the…
-
The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to preserve your dignity by kicking your mistakes under the rug and acting as if they never happened. Or blaming someone else. Or making excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and makes you look small. Worse yet, it could also damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity, class, and…
-
The whole cookie
“Every healthy relationship is a feast of affection and giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough.” ~Shannon Thomas It’s nearly impossible to be part of an extended family or any type of social group without experiencing a few relationships that are off-balance in some way. You know you’re in a one-sided relationship if you’re consistently making efforts for another person but getting only “crumbs” in return. Balanced relationships make us feel seen, nurtured, and supported. They’re built on a level foundation of giving and taking. As today’s quote suggests, we’ll have more of these relationships if we offer our loving care and…
-
Insensitive remarks
“I have never been hurt by what I have not said.” ~Calvin Coolidge All of us are guilty of blurting insensitive remarks or sharing information we shouldn’t — usually without realizing it. We might say something off the top of our heads without thinking how someone else might interpret it. It’s easy to get tangled in our own verbiage — and it takes a heartfelt apology to smooth things out. To paraphrase Maya Angelou, people might forget exactly what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel. In today’s quote, we’re reminded that it’s wise to weigh our words carefully before we set them free. Or keep…
-
Getting over ourselves
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” ~Rick Warren Socrates said that “the unexamined life” isn’t worth living. But self-absorption isn’t such a good thing, either. Self-absorption can be a symptom of living in fear or uncertainty — or spending too much time alone. And there was plenty of that going on during the first year of the pandemic. Thankfully, we’re finally stepping outside our comfort zones to renew our sense of community. When we stop obsessing over our own worries and problems, we open ourselves to others. We start paying attention to what’s going on around us — not just within us. It’s a big…
