Civility and manners
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Are thank-you notes old-fashioned?
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward Several advice columnists have noted that a large percentage of their mail comes from baffled readers who are hurt or angry because they didn’t receive thank-you notes for their gifts. At the same time, other readers argue that it isn’t necessary to write thank-you notes now. One young bride said she didn’t have time to write thank-you notes for her wedding gifts because her life was “too busy.” Most etiquette experts agree that a handwritten note of appreciation is the right thing to do when you’ve received a gift, a special…
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Owning our mistakes
“Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.” ~Craig Silvey Mistakes were made. Commentator William Saffire once described the phrase as “a passive-evasive way of acknowledging an error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.” In other words, “Mistakes were made” isn’t a real apology. As today’s quote reminds us, a real apology is an offering. An apology shows that you accept your responsibility for a mistake, which elevates you in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt. On the other hand, making excuses for your errors — or trying to justify them —…
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Herd mentality
“Sheep only need a single flock, but people need two: One to belong to and make them feel comfortable, and another to blame all of society’s problems on.” ~James Rozoff When I was a kid, my parents often discussed politics and watched talk shows featuring guests with opposing viewpoints. They subscribed to (and read) both local and national newspapers. The three of us enjoyed rehashing important issues around the dinner table, giving me an opportunity to learn what I thought and valued during those discussions. I was encouraged to develop my own opinions — even if they didn’t mirror those of my parents. Herd mentality was not encouraged. My folks…
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Selfish motives
“Almost every offensive action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” ~Stephen Kendrick Sometimes I catch myself doing things that would annoy me if someone else did the same. Talking too much and forgetting to return borrowed books are just a couple of quick examples. I’m sure my family and close friends would offer a much longer list of aggravating things I do. Just ask. So, today’s quote got me thinking about why we’re slow to recognize our own bad behavior — but quick to notice offending behavior in others. Selfish motives keep us…
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Bad manners and social graces
“Sometimes, to have good manners means putting up with other people’s bad manners.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. American author Emily Post advised that having good manners isn’t just a matter of using a dinner napkin or refraining from passing gas in public. Courtesy, she said, is all about being “sensitive to the feelings of others” and putting them at ease. Civility is another word for kindness in action. A lot of people have complained lately about the general increase in rude, insensitive behavior — on the road, in restaurants, in politics, in grocery stores, and even among friends. If we’re not careful, boorish behavior will become our cultural norm (if…
