Civility and manners
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“You look marvelous!”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain Yes, flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that “people respond positively to flattery, even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive.” Better yet, compliments can make a motivational difference. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re more likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. At the same time, when other people tell us we look nice or that we’ve done a great job, we tend to think positive thoughts about them, too. Paying a sincere compliment is an act…
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Bullies and boundaries
“When you set healthier relationship standards in your life, some people will take it personally. That’s their issue, not yours. The distance you need isn’t against them; it’s for you. It’s a boundary, not a grudge.” ~Steve Maraboli Bullying is demoralizing, and it doesn’t just happen to kids on the playground or in politics. In our daily lives we sometimes encounter folks who don’t play fair. Social bullies aren’t necessarily loud or obvious, and sometimes they don’t even recognize their own patterns of bullying. But you know ’em when you see ’em. Social bullies are the ones who need to have the upper hand — in a variety of ways.…
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Who really said that?
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” – Henry Thomas Buckle (1821 – 1862), English historian Not unlike gossip, many of the popular quotations we can easily pull from the Internet are misattributed or taken out of context. It’s worth doing some research to determine the origin and authenticity of the material. The more we spread misinformation, the harder it is to pinpoint the truth, the real source. Just like gossip. Today’s quote is often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt. But apparently scholars can’t find anything close to it in any of Roosevelt’s writings or speeches. According to an in-depth piece in the Quote Investigator, the…
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The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to preserve your dignity by kicking your mistakes under the rug and acting as if they never happened. Or blaming someone else. Or making excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and makes you look small. Worse yet, it could also damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity, class, and…
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The whole cookie
“Every healthy relationship is a feast of affection and giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough.” ~Shannon Thomas It’s nearly impossible to be part of an extended family or any type of social group without experiencing a few relationships that are off-balance in some way. You know you’re in a one-sided relationship if you’re consistently making efforts for another person but getting only “crumbs” in return. Balanced relationships make us feel seen, nurtured, and supported. They’re built on a level foundation of giving and taking. As today’s quote suggests, we’ll have more of these relationships if we offer our loving care and…
