Civility and manners
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When “I’m sorry” isn’t enough
“If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~ Robert Frost Years ago, when we were young, busy parents, Doug and I deeply disappointed a family member by forgetting to attend a Sunday dinner she’d invited us to attend. Stressed and overbooked at the time, we’d forgotten to write the date of the dinner on our kitchen calendar — so we missed it. Of course, I was totally mortified when our relative called to ask why we didn’t show up. Doug and…
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Listening skills
“One of the benchmarks of great communicators is their ability to listen — not just to what’s being said, but to what’s not being said as well. They listen between the lines.” ~ Laurie Buchanan I’ve always been interested in how communication impacts our daily lives. Good listening skills are as essential to healthy relationships as good talk. Thankfully, I’m married to a guy who’s an outstanding, empathetic listener. (That’s him in the background of the photo above.) He’s not one of those people who starts talking before you’ve finished what you’re trying to say. Listening carefully also improves your memory. When you focus on what someone is saying — and…
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How we see things
“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”~Anais Nin, memoirist We humans view everything through the lens of our personal experience, which includes our upbringing and education, where we’ve lived, and the people who form our tribe. Things get tricky when we encounter others who see things differently than we do. Whenever I’m offended, annoyed, or angered, I usually adopt a self-righteousness attitude. But that’s when I need to pause and consider the reasons behind another person’s offending actions, according to David Brooks in How to Know a Person. (Click on the previous link for my review of the book.) And that’s when a little…
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The choices we make
“Life is about choices. Some we regret, some we’re proud of. Some will haunt us forever. We are what we choose to be.” ~Graham Brown We make choices every day. A choice can change lives — because every choice has a ripple effect. This applies to everything from the products we purchase to the political candidates we elect. Likewise, the friends we choose have a powerful influence on our habits, beliefs, and even our reputation. Or, to paraphrase an old proverb, “You are not responsible for what your friends do, but you will be judged by the company you keep.” This applies to personal as well as business relationships. How…
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Mistakes and butt-covering
“You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.” ~Marc Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life At some point, we all mess up. Humans make spelling errors, burn the dinner, neglect to return phone calls, forget birthdays, and turn the wrong way on one-way streets. We miss deadlines and show up late for meetings. Sometimes we say or do something that hurts another person’s feelings. Nobody leaves this world flawless and error-free. Yet we all know a few folks who refuse to admit that they ever make mistakes. And then there are the ones who manage to screw up a good apology with a bold-faced…
