Christmas
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How to manage holiday grief and loss
“The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow If you’re grieving a loss, holiday festivities can feel especially painful and alienating. Last year I wrote a column on managing grief and loss during the holidays for The Sunday Oakland Press. For those who don’t subscribe to the newspaper and can’t open the article links, I’m reposting the column below. EMPTY CHAIRS AT CHRISTMAS, by Cindy La Ferle for The Oakland Press My mother died three months before Christmas eight years ago. Since my father had passed several years earlier, my first Christmas season without Mom…
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Believe
“We were dreamers not so long ago. But one by one, we all had to grow up. When it seems the magic slipped away, We find it all again on Christmas day.” ~from “Believe” by Glen Ballard and Alan Silvestri Everything they say about seeing Christmas through a child’s eyes is true — but I’d nearly forgotten. Now that there’s a little boy in my life again, I’ve been rereading The Polar Express aloud at bedtime and rediscovering the magic of flying reindeer and jingling sleigh bells. Chris Van Allsberg’s award-winning picture book was published the year our son was born (1985) and was a holiday hit in our home…
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When you need time out
“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” ~Audrey Hepburn The holidays are in full swing, giving us plenty of opportunities to gather with others. And that’s not a bad thing. Current research shows that maintaining an active social life is essential to our physical and mental wellbeing — right up there with exercising and eating healthy meals. Spending time with friends lifts my spirit and helps dispel my worries for a while. But as much as I enjoy good company, sometimes I get overwhelmed by other people’s energy. That’s…
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How much stuff makes you happy?
“Very little is needed to make a happy life.” ~Marcus Aurelius Today’s quote sounds like a slap in the face of Christmas commercialism, right? Marcus Aurelius was a Roman ruler and stoic philosopher who believed people didn’t need an excess of bright and shiny things to find satisfaction in life. And while his frugal philosophy looks good in print, it’s not as easy to practice when you’re wandering the aisles of any department store during the winter holidays. No matter how deeply you respect its religious origins, Christmas in our country is tightly tied to buying stuff. Lots of stuff. Watch any Christmas commercial on TV, and you’ll see troops…
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Goodwill and gratitude, all year long
“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining. It bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” ~Zig Ziglar Peace on earth, goodwill to all. Lately I’ve been wondering why these sentiments are limited to specific dates on the calendar. Last month, for instance, we all counted our blessings before slicing the Thanksgiving turkey, but resumed the habit of complaining about everything from corrupt politics to lousy football teams as soon as the good china was cleared from the table. As Christmas approaches, our hearts soften again. We mail greeting cards declaring our hope for humanity and the belief that goodness will triumph over evil. We…
