approval seeking
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Deep thoughts, tough questions
“To find yourself, think for yourself.” ~Socrates The simplest truths are rarely as simple as they seem. Today’s quote from the philosopher Socrates is a case in point. “Thinking for yourself” gets tricky when you’re under the influence of family and friends, popular culture, cable news, and social media. There’s always a cacophony of voices sharing different views on everything from business to fashion to politics. You can try to find the courage to go deeper. Then you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Am I following my own heart or trying to fit in? Am I rebelling against something or living authentically on my own terms? How and…
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Inner compass
“Pay close attention to your inner compass. If you stop steering by your own compass, you’ll hit a rumble strip. Don’t panic. Just question your assumptions and you’ll be back on the road in no time.” ~Martha Beck In the 1950s, most women didn’t have the choices we have today. Typically, they married and had kids, stayed home to raise those kids, managed household chores, and followed the cultural norms of the time. Likewise, their husbands climbed into their cars every weekday morning (or evening) and drove to work to support their families. Breaking that pattern isn’t always easy, even today. We humans are creatures of habit. We follow the…
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Shining
“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ~Tyra Banks “I don’t want to look as if I’m trying too hard,” a friend would say every time she chose an outfit for a special event. I believe she meant that she wanted her appearance to seem natural, not over the top. But she took the idea a little too seriously, and wouldn’t even wear a full costume to a Halloween party. I’ve always cringed at the thought of calculated nonchalance, or pretending that you didn’t “try too hard” — for anything. Where’s the shame in shining your brightest light and giving others permission to do the same? Furthermore, what message are…
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Knock, knock …. Who’s there?
“Not every person or opportunity that knocks on the door of your life should be let in.” ~Meggan Roxanne, Kushandwizdom.com In my early days of freelancing, new writers were advised to accept nearly any project that came our way. We had to build a portfolio and create a brand. Sometimes that meant writing free articles or giving free talks at local events. Occasionally, it advanced my career. But most of the time it only benefited the editors, publishers, and organizations with small budgets. Later, when I became a regular newspaper columnist, I was encouraged to answer all the mail I received from readers, which I did to please my editors.…
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Identity crisis?
“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.” ~Rita Mae Brown When I was in my teens, everyone in high school worked hard to fit in with her peer group. Even the non-conformists dressed like the other non-conformists. One of the gifts of aging is discovering that you finally feel comfortable in your own skin. You stop caring whether or not your clothing (or anything else you own) is on trend. You stop trying to impress others and start making choices that reflect your own taste and character. In short, you worry less about what other people think of you — because you realize that most people…
