approval seeking
-
Shining
“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ~Tyra Banks “I don’t want to look as if I’m trying too hard,” a friend would say every time she chose an outfit for a special event. I believe she meant that she wanted her appearance to seem natural, not over the top. But she took the idea a little too seriously, and wouldn’t even wear a full costume to a Halloween party. I’ve always cringed at the thought of calculated nonchalance, or pretending that you didn’t “try too hard” — for anything. Where’s the shame in shining your brightest light and giving others permission to do the same? Furthermore, what message are…
-
Knock, knock …. Who’s there?
“Not every person or opportunity that knocks on the door of your life should be let in.” ~Meggan Roxanne, Kushandwizdom.com In my early days of freelancing, new writers were advised to accept nearly any project that came our way. We had to build a portfolio and create a brand. Sometimes that meant writing free articles or giving free talks at local events. Occasionally, it advanced my career. But most of the time it only benefited the editors, publishers, and organizations with small budgets. Later, when I became a regular newspaper columnist, I was encouraged to answer all the mail I received from readers, which I did to please my editors.…
-
Get comfortable
‘People aren’t longing to be impressed. They’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how old.” ~Shauna Niequist, quoted in Bella Grace Some of us spend way too much time trying to make things perfect — especially when we’re getting ready to entertain. Others have been brainwashed into thinking that a living room should look like it was styled by a magazine editor in order to be worthy of visitors — and avoid sharing their homes because…
-
Identity crisis?
“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.” ~Rita Mae Brown When I was in my teens, everyone in high school worked hard to fit in with her peer group. Even the non-conformists dressed like the other non-conformists. One of the gifts of aging is discovering that you finally feel comfortable in your own skin. You stop caring whether or not your clothing (or anything else you own) is on trend. You stop trying to impress others and start making choices that reflect your own taste and character. In short, you worry less about what other people think of you — because you realize that most people…
-
Who are you, really?
“You are what you are when nobody is looking.” ~Abigail Van Buren Today’s quote is all about authenticity — a common theme in many “Dear Abby” columns. It’s human nature to present our best image in public, but being truly authentic requires honest self-reflection and courage. That’s not so easy, especially today. Just for starters, consider all the edited selfies and photos of stage-managed lifestyles that constantly bombard us on social media platforms. Once in a while, it’s worth doing a reality check. Who are we when nobody’s looking? ~CL For more like this: Check out additional posts and new content on the Life Lines home page. Photo: Frederik Meijer…
