approval seeking
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No comparison
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”~Lao Tzu Ours is a culture of competition. We have televised sports 24/7 — not to mention those countless game shows, dancing and singing competitions, and cooking contests. No matter what the endeavor, there’s a contest for it. There’s always another trophy to win; another team to conquer; another score to beat. The not-so-subtle message: To be your best, you gotta top somebody else. It’s all fun and games, for the most part — unless we take it too seriously. Comparing and competing can be dangerous to our wellbeing if we’re not careful. If…
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Shining
“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ~Tyra Banks “I don’t want to look as if I’m trying too hard,” a friend would say every time she chose an outfit for a special event. I believe she meant that she wanted her appearance to seem natural, not over the top. But she took the idea a little too seriously, and wouldn’t even wear a full costume to a Halloween party. I’ve always cringed at the thought of calculated nonchalance, or pretending that you didn’t “try too hard” — for anything. Where’s the shame in shining your brightest light and giving others permission to do the same? Furthermore, what message are…
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“Sweet Darkness”
“You must learn one thing. The world was made to be free in.” — David Whyte Sometimes the right poem can work life-changing magic. And sometimes it all depends on what you’re going through when you read it. David Whyte’s “Sweet Darkness” is one such poem for me. Revisiting it today, I am struck this time by the sheer power of its last three lines. This heart-stopping poem is an invitation to stop wasting our time on futile distractions — and a clarion call to discover the real work that we were meant to do…. SWEET DARKNESSBy David Whyte When your eyes are tiredthe world is tired also. When your vision has…
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Knock, knock …. Who’s there?
“Not every person or opportunity that knocks on the door of your life should be let in.” ~Meggan Roxanne, Kushandwizdom.com In my early days of freelancing, new writers were advised to accept nearly any project that came our way. We had to build a portfolio and create a brand. Sometimes that meant writing free articles or giving free talks at local events. Occasionally, it advanced my career. But most of the time it only benefited the editors, publishers, and organizations with small budgets. Later, when I became a regular newspaper columnist, I was encouraged to answer all the mail I received from readers, which I did to please my editors.…
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Identity crisis?
“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.” ~Rita Mae Brown When I was in my teens, everyone in high school worked hard to fit in with her peer group. Even the non-conformists dressed like the other non-conformists. One of the gifts of aging is discovering that you finally feel comfortable in your own skin. You stop caring whether or not your clothing (or anything else you own) is on trend. You stop trying to impress others and start making choices that reflect your own taste and character. In short, you worry less about what other people think of you — because you realize that most people…
