approval seeking
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Looking within or without?
“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” ~Anna Freud, psychoanalyst and daughter of Sigmund Freud The world of social media revolves around building a brand and attracting followers. It’s not a solo actvity. Few people I know use social media platforms without hoping to attract, entertain, inform, or provoke an audience, even if it’s just a small one. Without question, it’s fueled by the reward of earning “likes,” validation, and constant attention. As any psychiatrist would tell us, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that — especially if we’re using social media to build community in positive…
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So, the dog ate your homework?
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Dr. Robert Anthony, Beyond Positive Thinking Excuses, excuses. It wasn’t my fault …. It was the wine talking …. I came from a dysfunctional family …. Someone gave me bad advice …. The dog ate my homework. When we make a mess of things or miss the mark, it’s tempting to reach for an easy excuse. We might try to save face by placing the blame on someone or something else — even when we know that we’re responsible for our own mistakes. In today’s quote, psychologist Robert Anthony shines a light on the blame game. He reminds us…
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Whose life?
“Whose life are you really living, yours or the one somebody prefers for you?” ~Vanita Oelschlager, Write with Me By the time we reach middle age, we’ve established our own preferences and routines. We’ve made some difficult choices; traveled a few paths. And we’d like to believe we’re original thinkers who’ve crafted our own opinions as well as our own unique style. In reality, each of us is a combination of influences — parents, siblings, partners, relatives, teachers, priests or preachers, peers, educational history, and popular culture. Which partly explains why we’re attracted to some things and repelled by others. Who and what are your strongest influences? Which ones inspire…
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Find your own shoe
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another. There is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” ~Carl Jung, psychiatrist and author There’s something called the theory of social comparison, which suggests that comparing and contrasting ourselves to our peers is key to our identity. Social comparison helps us form or solidify our values, preferences, and feelings of self-worth. If our friends or favorite celebrities are wearing a particular style, for instance, we’re likely to mimic or mirror it — whether we genuinely like it or not. This explains, in part, the dubious trend of spending top dollar for ripped jeans and painful footwear. Things get even more complicated…
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You be you
“Forget popularity; focus on sincerity. Do what you do, not for applause, but because it is what is right for you. Practice respecting yourself and becoming a reliable part of your own support system.” ~Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life The word “popularity” still sends me back down Memory Lane to junior high school. And today’s quote from Marc and Angel got me thinking about the difference between sincerity and popularity. When we focus on being popular, we value the number of friends we have rather than the quality of their character, or their compatibility. Likewise, when we try to stay “on trend” with our creative projects, we risk lowering the quality…
