Aging well
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Anniversary musings
“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche Last month, Doug and I celebrated our 42nd anniversary. During a celebratory dinner at a local restaurant, our server asked us if we’d share the secrets of a long and happy partnership. She was living with her boyfriend, she said, and wasn’t sure about their future together. Doug and I assured her that the success of a marriage depends on the couple — and every couple is different, of course. For us, shared values and interests are essential,…
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Identity crisis?
“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.” ~Rita Mae Brown When I was in my teens, everyone in high school worked hard to fit in with her peer group. Even the non-conformists dressed like the other non-conformists. One of the gifts of aging is discovering that you finally feel comfortable in your own skin. You stop caring whether or not your clothing (or anything else you own) is on trend. You stop trying to impress others and start making choices that reflect your own taste and character. In short, you worry less about what other people think of you — because you realize that most people…
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While we can
“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby There’s something especially thoughtful about sending a greeting card or buying someone a small gift for no special reason. And when you’re on the receiving end of such a surprise, it’s always a memorable moment. This is a lesson I learned from an old friend who loved sending “no reason” flowers when she was battling a terminal illness. But we don’t have to send cards or flowers to declare our love or friendship. There are dozens of other lovely, simple ways to express…
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Homecoming
“But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays a while like an old friend you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it, and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since he last saw you.” ~Stephen King, Salem’s Lot Autumn was made for nostalgia. Last weekend, Doug and I hosted a party for several of our closest high school friends. The gathering was a homecoming of sorts,…
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How do we look?
“Ten years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, or what brand of jeans you bought. What will matter is how you thought about yourself, how you lived, what you learned, and where you applied this knowledge.” ~Marc and Angel Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life Everywhere I look, I see ads for products that promise to erase wrinkles, hide age spots, and make me look 10 years younger. Several of my girlfriends have found the courage to let their hair go gray — and they look beautiful — but I haven’t mustered the courage to do the same. It’s human nature to…
