Aging well
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A new way to go on
“It is impossible to go on as you were before, so you must go on as you never have.” ~Cheryl Strayed Whether we’re talking about a death, a major illness, a job loss, relocation, divorce, retirement, or any other major change, we have to find a new way “to go on,” as author Cheryl Strayed reminds us. During the last years of my widowed mother’s life, I had to manage everything from her medical appointments to her daily routines while she suffered a memory loss disease. Our lifelong roles as mother and daughter were thrown into reverse. For a long time, I struggled emotionally with the profound shift in our…
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“Aging with Grace & Courage” discussion and journaling group
“When it comes to aging, women are held to a different standard than men. Some guy recently said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock ‘n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.’ ” ~Cher Last year, I coached a journaling workshop that focused on aging topics such as facing retirement, finding new purpose, rebooting our social lives, maintaining optimism — and so much more. We also discussed the challenges and roadblocks we face in our senior years. (We’re never too old to rock ‘n’ roll, as Cher points out.) The workshop inspired a new spin-off program — an informal aging support group that…
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Anniversary musings
“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche Last month, Doug and I celebrated our 42nd anniversary. During a celebratory dinner at a local restaurant, our server asked us if we’d share the secrets of a long and happy partnership. She was living with her boyfriend, she said, and wasn’t sure about their future together. Doug and I assured her that the success of a marriage depends on the couple — and every couple is different, of course. For us, shared values and interests are essential,…
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While we can
“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby There’s something especially thoughtful about sending a greeting card or buying someone a small gift for no special reason. And when you’re on the receiving end of such a surprise, it’s always a memorable moment. This is a lesson I learned from an old friend who loved sending “no reason” flowers when she was battling a terminal illness. But we don’t have to send cards or flowers to declare our love or friendship. There are dozens of other lovely, simple ways to express…
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Homecoming
“But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays a while like an old friend you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it, and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since he last saw you.” ~Stephen King, Salem’s Lot Autumn was made for nostalgia. Last weekend, Doug and I hosted a party for several of our closest high school friends. The gathering was a homecoming of sorts,…
