Aging well
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Old friends
Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst conducted a now-famous study on friendship. In particular, he investigated how the context in which we meet people shapes our social network. One of his conclusions: We naturally lose about half of our friends every seven years. Given our ever-changing circumstances — we move, change jobs, get married — it’s logistically impossible to remain close to every friend we’ve ever had. My dear friend Debbie and I touched on this topic yesterday. Deb and I met when we were both pregnant nearly 39 years ago, and our enduring friendship is wrapped in layers of shared memories and experiences. We’re also lucky enough to have kept a few…
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Looking on the bright side
“Our job is to find the positive in every situation and focus on that. What you focus on becomes more pronounced. When you zero in on the positive, that’s what you see and that’s where you live….People will not treat you less seriously because you refuse to share a worldview with the Grim Reaper.” ~Victoria Moran All too often lately, I catch myself complaining aloud and rehashing the same-old problems and worries. Just for starters, I’m tired of worrying about the current state of political turmoil and insanity and the future of our country. I’m tired of being disappointed in too many people. I’m tired of worrying about driving on…
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When one door closes …
“When certain people walk away from you, or certain opportunities close their doors on you, there is no need to hold on….Take it as a direct indication that these people, circumstances, or opportunities are not part of the next chapter in your life. It’s a sign that your growth requires someone different or something more, and life is simply making room.” ~Marc & Angel Hack Life I’ve faced a lot of closed doors, having worked in journalism for 40 years. The internet has changed this business in countless ways, closing down (or shrinking) many favorite print publications that regularly published my work. Like so many of my fellow journalists, I’ve…
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Traveling light
“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.” ~Cesare Pavese Most of us have acquired a lot of stuff that weighs us down. Instead of making a list of resolutions this year, I’m taking inventory of the metaphorical baggage I need to dump at the curb, including unproductive worry and old routines. That’s the topic of my newest column in this month’s Vitality, a magazine supplement to The Oakland Press. Read it online here, or, if you live in metro Detroit, pick up a free print edition at your local library or community center.*
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Forgiveness
“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” ~Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre Responding to a recent “Life Lines” post about bad habits, a subscriber confided that giving up grudges is on her list of resolutions this year. We agreed that forgiveness is essential to our wellbeing — but not so easy to put into practice. Everyone struggles with grudges, emotional wounds, and petty grievances. But as Anne Lamott writes in Traveling Mercies, “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Forgiving people who hurt us doesn’t necessarily mean that all of those damaged relationships will return to…
