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Validation
“Just like children, our emotions heal when they are heard and validated.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey I love it when I read a paragraph in a book that jumps off the page and affirms something I’ve always believed — as if its author is speaking directly to me. Likewise, I have a friend who’s a caring, first-rate conversationalist. How does she do it? For starters, she pays attention and listens with an open heart. She has a rare gift for making others feel heard, uplifted, and validated in her presence. She doesn’t simply wait for you to stop talking so that she…
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Blooming
“One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming.” ~ Morgan Harper Nichols, author and artist Do you ever fight the nagging belief that you haven’t done enough with your life? No matter how accomplished we are, many of us undervalue our achievements and overlook our daily victories. Or we focus too intently on our mistakes or missed opportunities. Try this instead: Take inventory of all that you’ve done — and give yourself the credit you deserve. Count every achievement, small or large, whether it’s raising a family, rescuing a shelter pet, renovating a house, learning to cook, earning a degree, volunteering at a shelter, climbing…
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Three’s a charm
“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are: Something to do, something to love, and something to hope.” ~Joseph Addison, English poet and essayist There’s something magical about “The Rule of Three” — a time-honored literary device. Just for starters, there are three blind mice, three musketeers, three little pigs, three spirits of Christmas, three wise men, and the three fates. And of course, in countless myths and fairy tales, the hero on the journey is typically granted three wishes or given three tasks. I’m also a fan of Dr. Andrew Weil’s “Three Good Things” journaling exercise, which suggests making a list of three good things that happened each…
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Happy places
“Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.” ~Charlotte Bronte Sometimes, if I’m not mindful, disturbing news can poison my mood for days. As behavioral psychologists remind us, what we “feed” our minds influences so many other areas of our lives. A constant diet of doom, gloom, gossip, or conspiracy theories can drive just about anyone totally nuts. So, is ignorance bliss? Not really. But it helps to have a sense of humor — along with the willingness and capacity to look for the good in other people and things. When I’m feeling down, for…
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Another Year: Thoughts on a Milestone Birthday
“Every birthday is a gift. Every day is a gift.” — Aretha Franklin A friend jokingly refers to the first week of August as my “birthday week” because I usually take full advantage of the opportunities to celebrate. This time around, however, I’m feeling a bit less celebratory and a lot more reflective. My driver’s license proves that I’ve landed on one of those milestone birthdays — the kind that inspires black balloons from the party store and bad jokes about seniority. For the past two years, I’ve facilitated a monthly workshop/discussion group titled “Aging with Grace & Courage” at a local library. Thanks to this group of thoughtful women,…
