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Complainers versus problem-solvers
“When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you’ll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. Mentally healthy people avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.” ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD, The Five Keys to Interpersonal Success Are you a complainer or a problem-solver? According to behavioral research, if you spend a significant amount of time with complainers and doomsayers, you’re probably sporting a negative attitude, too. When complaining becomes the norm — at home, in the workplace, or in social circles — it’s hard to break the pattern. Negativity is as contagious as it is demoralizing. As renowned psychologist Susan Albers puts it, complaining is like a virus. It…
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Bad manners and social graces
“Sometimes, to have good manners means putting up with other people’s bad manners.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. American author Emily Post advised that having good manners isn’t just a matter of using a dinner napkin or refraining from passing gas in public. Courtesy, she said, is all about being “sensitive to the feelings of others” and putting them at ease. Civility is another word for kindness in action. A lot of people have complained lately about the general increase in rude, insensitive behavior — on the road, in restaurants, in politics, in grocery stores, and even among friends. If we’re not careful, boorish behavior will become our cultural norm (if…
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Sitting it out
“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so that you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to you because they believe in your capacity to know their darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.” ~ Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage Being fully human means you’re going to experience bouts of disappointment, anger, and sadness. Someone will say or do something that hurts or alienates you. Or you might say something insensitive and hurtful to someone else. As hard as we try to avoid emotional collisions, we all stumble on conflicts we can’t fix,…
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Every age you’ve ever been
One of the perks of my monthly “Aging with Grace” workshop is the sense of validation I get from the other women in the group. Through our discussions over the past couple of years, I’ve discovered that I’m not alone with my age-related fears, dreams, or aspirations. In a recent conversation, one of the women admitted that she still feels like the same person she was in her youth — which reminded me of today’s quote from author Madeleine L’Engle. Everyone quickly agreed that we each carry all the ages we’ve ever been inside us — even though our appearance has changed. Imagine what you’d say if you had an…
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The case for quality
“When you have deep friendships with good people, you copy and then absorb some of their best traits. When you love a person deeply, you want to serve them and earn their regard. When you experience great art, you widen your repertoire of emotions. Through devotion to some cause, you elevate your desires and organize your energies.” ~David Brooks, The Road to Character Once in a while, my husband and I like to spend a quiet afternoon at the Detroit Institute of Arts. We always return home feeling inspired after visiting our favorite paintings and exhibits. Sometimes we rediscover a piece that we’d forgotten or overlooked in the past. Best…
