New year, old baggage to unpack

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.” ~Cesare Pavese

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed your holidays. A slightly different version of today’s post ran previously in The Oakland Press.…

Traveling Light in the New Year

By the time we reach our wisdom years, most of us have accumulated way too much stuff. We need to weed out or pare down — whether we’re inclined to overpack our suitcases when we travel or stuff our bedroom closets with outdated clothing.

It also occurs to me that I’ve been dragging around a trunk-load of pet peeves and old habits — most of which are as useless as the winter jacket I once packed for a spring trip to Florida. And so, in lieu of making New Year’s resolutions this year, I’m taking inventory of the metaphorical baggage I need to dump at the curb.

First on my list of things to unload is chronic worry. If there’s something to be anxious about — a world crisis, a health issue, under-eye bags, airplane crashes, or other people’s misguided opinions — I often obsess over it. By now I should know that worrying about things I can’t control robs my serenity and produces nothing but stomach acid. Out it goes.

Then there’s the patronizing term, “age-appropriate.” It’s heading straight to the dumpster along with the question, “Am I too old for this?” True, I’m probably not at the right fitness level to try skateboarding at the local park, but I’m not too old to try a new hobby or blast my favorite music on the car radio.

Likewise, I’m not too old to wear whatever I like, including weird nail polish colors that aren’t found in nature. Even if I do look silly, I’ll be having too much fun to worry about the opinions of less adventurous people. And while I’m at it, I’ll ditch my subscriptions to most lifestyle and fashion magazines. Editors who treat women over 60 as if we’re invisible don’t deserve our readership. (Let’s show ’em what “invisible” means.)

Clearing the obstacles

Seniority may bring wisdom and aptitude, but there’s nothing more annoying than a pompous know-it-all. Arrogance at any age — spiritual or intellectual — is huge turn-off for me. Humility is so underrated these days that I’m starting to find it incredibly attractive in other people. So, next on my list of things to pitch is the need to be right all the time. Experience proves that when I have the courage to say “I don’t know the answer” or “I made a mistake,” I always learn something new.  

Another joy buster is boredom, which often comes disguised as resistance to change. That’s going out the door, too. From now on, when I find myself repeating the same old routines, such as ordering the same old salad at the same old restaurants, I’ll try to get more creative.

I’m also determined to drop the exhausting habit of trying to please everyone. This year I’ll make a better effort to respect my own limits and boundaries. If I stop saying “yes” when I really mean “no,” I’ll rekindle the energy I need for the people and activities I truly enjoy. And I will stop over-explaining myself when I can’t possibly meet someone else’s neediness. As author Anne Lamott reminds us, the word “No” can be a complete sentence.

Lastly, old grudges occasionally resurface in the baggage I carry. For those of us who are still gifted with good recall, grudges can be the hardest thing to let go. In fact, they get so heavy that they turn into roadblocks that thwart our peace of mind and poison some relationships.

That’s when I need to remember that forgiving others for hurting or disappointing me doesn’t mean I’ve become a doormat for future offenses. It simply means I’m clearing a path for traveling light — and making room in my heart for healthier activities and relationships. ~Cindy La Ferle