Crossing the not-so-great divide

“Being nice to people you agree with can be a piece of cake, but if we’re only spending time around buddies who share our beliefs, we aren’t learning how to extend kindness and understanding to those who we don’t see eye to eye with. Practicing empathy across divides requires occasionally and willingly crossing those divides.” ~Rebekah Brandes, Nice News

Last week I talked with another friend who’s on the verge of cutting ties with folks who don’t support her favored presidential candidate. If “the other candidate” wins, well, that’s the end of those relationships, she implied. Sadly, it’s not an uncommon conversation, given that we’re in the heat of the most polarizing election season in history.

I consider myself lucky because I’m not in such a precarious position. I don’t hang out much with people who support “the other candidate,” although that’s not exactly a deliberate or conscious political choice. My closest friends — the ones who share my core values and have my confidence — are the ones with whom I spend the majority of my free time. Those friends have always been members of my political camp, long before things got bat-shit crazy. Our political discussions are harmonious and validating, which is something I’ve taken for granted for many years.

Yet I know that insularity is not the path to national unity. And clinging to a cloistered community of beloved like-minded thinkers isn’t the answer — though it’s tempting sometimes.

Yesterday I read an informative article in Nice News titled, “How to Be Kind to People You Disagree With During an Election Year,” which includes tips from psychologists and conflict resolution experts. I hope you’ll take a moment to read it. One tip encourages us to take a hard look at where and how we get our news.

“Consider reading articles or opinion pieces that fall outside your typical news algorithm,” writes Rebekah Brandes in the article.

In other words, if you’re going to have civil conversations about political topics, it helps to gain some degree of knowledge about opposing positions and opinions. As the article suggests, listen to a variety of radio and TV stations occasionally, and for heaven’s sake, ignore the conspiracy theories and rumors on social media. (My mental health improved tremendously as soon as I deactivated my Facebook account.)

My husband and I have been following this tip for a while. Every weekend we purchase a national newspaper that’s typically favored by “the other” political party. In that paper, I always read the column of a respected political writer whose opinions don’t always resonate with mine. She’s even-handed, for the most part, and her views give me another perspective while forcing me out of my political comfort zone.

This isn’t an easy topic — especially if you care about our country as much as I do. And if you dread spending the next holiday season with folks who don’t share your political views, or you’d rather spend Thanksgiving on a tropical island with your best friends, this article might help you get through it. ~CL