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How much stuff makes you happy?
“Very little is needed to make a happy life.” ~Marcus Aurelius Today’s quote sounds like a slap in the face of Christmas commercialism, right? Marcus Aurelius was a Roman ruler and stoic philosopher who believed people didn’t need an excess of bright and shiny things to find satisfaction in life. And while his frugal philosophy looks good in print, it’s not as easy to practice when you’re wandering the aisles of any department store during the winter holidays. No matter how deeply you respect its religious origins, Christmas in our country is tightly tied to buying stuff. Lots of stuff. Watch any Christmas commercial on TV, and you’ll see troops…
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Goodwill and gratitude, all year long
“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining. It bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” ~Zig Ziglar Peace on earth, goodwill to all. Lately I’ve been wondering why these sentiments are limited to specific dates on the calendar. Last month, for instance, we all counted our blessings before slicing the Thanksgiving turkey, but resumed the habit of complaining about everything from corrupt politics to lousy football teams as soon as the good china was cleared from the table. As Christmas approaches, our hearts soften again. We mail greeting cards declaring our hope for humanity and the belief that goodness will triumph over evil. We…
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What we remember
“Memory fades, memory adjusts, memory conforms to what we think we remember.” ~Joan Didion When you repeat an old story at a family gathering, your parent or another relative might say, That’s not exactly how it happened. In my memoir workshops, we spend a fair amount of time discussing how memories are altered over time. Quite often, our recollection of an event is different from someone else’s, especially if the story involves a perpetrator and a victim. This idea applies to humorous stories as well as traumatic ones. Some of us might believe that a particular experience — or how we remember it — defines who we are. But as…
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The gift of your attention
“Nothing you can give will ever be more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention—your full presence. Truly being with someone, and listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the ultimate compliment.” ~Marc Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life At this point in December, I’m usually preoccupied with holiday stress and anxiety. As Christmas draws closer, I wake up with a chorus of elves reciting a mile-long “to-do” list in my head: When are you going to finish your Christmas cards? What will you bring to the Christmas Eve party? What else do you need for the Christmas morning brunch you’re hosting? Have you overlooked anyone…
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Getting over ourselves
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” ~Rick Warren Socrates said that “the unexamined life” isn’t worth living. But self-absorption isn’t such a good thing, either. Self-absorption can be a symptom of living in fear or uncertainty — or spending too much time alone. And there was plenty of that going on during the first year of the pandemic. Thankfully, we’re finally stepping outside our comfort zones to renew our sense of community. When we stop obsessing over our own worries and problems, we open ourselves to others. We start paying attention to what’s going on around us — not just within us. It’s a big…
