Goodwill and gratitude, all year long

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining. It bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” ~Zig Ziglar

Peace on earth, goodwill to all. Lately I’ve been wondering why these sentiments are limited to specific dates on the calendar.

Last month, for instance, we all counted our blessings before slicing the Thanksgiving turkey, but resumed the habit of complaining about everything from corrupt politics to lousy football teams as soon as the good china was cleared from the table.

As Christmas approaches, our hearts soften again. We mail greeting cards declaring our hope for humanity and the belief that goodness will triumph over evil. We stuff a few dollars in red kettles outside local shops or mail donations to our favorite charities. But once the holiday greens are taken down and the last trace of glitter is swept away, we return to business as usual while the crabby months of Seasonal Affective Disorder drag on.

Meanwhile, it’s even more troubling to consider that deliberate acts of unkind behavior are on the rise — endangering all of us and eroding our national sense of optimism. Across the country, angry diners lash out at overworked servers in understaffed restaurants. Volatile airline passengers are reported almost nightly on the news. Statistics show that road rage and highway bullying are more prevalent than ever. And I haven’t even touched on the much larger issues of bigotry, racism, antisemitism, and more.

We can be better than this.

But where do we begin? From Ralph Waldo Emerson to Willie Nelson, philosophers throughout history have touted the benefits of appreciation — a byproduct of kindness. “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around,” Nelson said.

Yes, it’s a small place to start. But what if we all did the same, starting now? Opportunities to take inventory of our good fortune are as plentiful as holiday wrapping paper. To riff on Nelson, the more we appreciate, the more examples of goodness we encounter along the way.

Consider all the people who enhance our lives on a daily basis: The drivers who deliver our packages — snow, rain, or shine. The employees who work overtime when their coworkers call in sick. The doctors and nurses who oversee our health and well-being. The employer who signs our paychecks. The friends and family who support us when we’re down. Just for starters.

Years ago, a friend admitted that she never liked the ritual of sending floral arrangements to funeral homes or memorial services. Instead, she often delivered small bouquets of gratitude to her friends and family while they were around to enjoy them. She didn’t wait for special occasions to say “I appreciate you.”

Putting our gratitude in writing is another way to rekindle the pleasure of a special gift or kindness, which, in turn, will lift our spirits as well as the giver’s. No time to buy stamps? A text or phone call, or an email, will do. We simply need to make it clear that we don’t take our loved ones and our good fortune for granted.

Gratitude, after all, is more than a prayer or blessing to recite at the dinner table. And we needn’t wait until Christmas to spread goodwill and kindness. What if we made it a way of life, not just a holiday? ~Cindy La Ferle

A slightly different version of this essay was originally published in The Oakland Press (12/21)