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How to brighten our dark thoughts
“I once had a garden filled with flowers that grew only on dark thoughts, but they needed constant attention, and one day I decided I had better things to do.” ~Brian Andreas Negativity is both lazy and self-destructive. It’s easy to get caught up in the hourly maelstrom of bad news, stressful events, and angry opinions — especially if you spend time on social media. “Dark thoughts” can become a pattern, a habit. (Haven’t we all met people who start complaining as soon as we ask how they’re doing?) Positivity takes tremendous effort, which is why so many people settle for the low-hanging fruit of doomscrolling. This is why I’m limiting how much stressful…
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The remedy for loneliness
“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh By now, you’ve read the news reports citing loneliness as a health crisis in America. According to medical experts, the lack of in-person social activity leads to serious outcomes, including heart disease, dementia, and diabetes. Ironically — despite our many social media connections — Americans aren’t fully engaging with others in reciprocal, three-dimensional ways. Relationships are built on initiation and effort. Too often, we hang back in silence and wonder why we’re bored or lonely or overlooked. All too often, we wait for others…
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The family columnist
“We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” ~Stacia Tauscher Using our kids as fodder for Facebook, Instagram, or blog posts is hardly new. Rare are the parents (or grandparents) who don’t share adorable photos of their kids and celebrate their latest achievements online. Before social media took over, I wrote a family column for our local newspapers. Since I was a work-at-home mom, my Sunday column topics often included details about my school-aged son. So it was a thought-provoking exercise for me to revisit those column-writing days in an essay I wrote a few years ago for The Christian Science…
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Expectations
It’s not a bad idea to hold ourselves — and others — to higher standards. Striving for “the best” is a worthy goal. But unrealistic expectations often result in disappointment. For instance, how many times have you tried a popular new restaurant, only to end up disappointed when your meals fell short of the rave reviews you’d read? At the same time, if we always expect more from other folks than they’re able to give, we’re bound to feel letdown at some point. As Anne Lamott put it, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Sometimes what we want isn’t available to us. Or what we expect to achieve — weight…
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What do you believe?
“What you believe yourself to be, you are.” ~Claude M. Bristol, The Magic of Believing World War I veteran Claude Bristol (1891-1951) was a pioneer of the positive thinking movement. He wrote The Magic of Believing to help his fellow veterans adapt to civilian life — yet his book also resonated with others who struggled to overcome trauma, self-limiting patterns, or negative attitudes. Bristol was convinced that success in any realm depends on dedication, belief, and character. His philosophy explains how some people triumph over adversity while others remain stuck. Bristol’s “magic” was about unleashing the power of the subconscious mind. You are what you believe. You achieve what you…
